Tony Robbins, one of the best Life-coaches I know and my favorite one in the self-development field, recommends a few things to look at in terms of body-language, when you enter a room.
Of course, it's not all about
appearance, as energy fields are easy to be read now, an people
"sense" how you feel beyond how your body stands, but it's goo to
know where to keep your hands and such :
"The moment you step into a room, people are immediately forming
some sort of impression of you. They’re making snap judgments about what type
of person you are — trustworthy, sincere, capable. And a lot of this is based
on how you carry yourself.
If you appear genuinely confident, people will be more inclined
to give you the attention and respect that you deserve. If you appear
uncomfortable and insecure, on the other hand, people may be quick to dismiss
or discredit you. Because body language is an integral part of communication,
and the way you carry yourself may be communicating more than you know to the
outside world.
Did you know that non-verbal cues represent 55% of our
communication? Vocal inflection is just 38%, while our words constitute only 7%
of our communication. No wonder why we say that actions speak louder than
words. Because the most subtle physical cues — from how you have your
hands placed to how you set your shoulders — set a tone.
So how do you set a positive tone that reinforces your
intelligence and capability? By carrying yourself with confidence.
Unfortunately, many struggle with self-doubt. Many also believe that if you
aren’t born with confidence then you are out of luck. But that’s far from the
truth. Self-confidence is a skill. It is something that you can learn how to
exude, even by making simple changes to your physical movements.
To learn more about quick fixes you can make to appear more
self-assured, we spoke to renowned body language expert, Jan Hargrave, whose
book Strictly Business Body Languagedelves into the
power of nonverbal communication and how anyone can use it to their advantage.
If you’re slouched or crouched, it displays a lack of confidence
and even a lack of sincerity. Stand up straight, push your shoulders back
slightly and open up your chest. Be sure to keep your shoulders even.
Unevenness of shoulders conveys indecisiveness in a person. Also, be sure to
square your shoulders towards your speaking partner. We point our bodies where
our mind wants to go. So if you are speaking to another, but your body is facing
the door, it comes off that you would like to exit the conversation, and the
person who you are speaking to may think you are discourteous or uncomfortable.
Squaring off your shoulders towards your partner conveys a sense of interest
and confidence.
CURB THE FIDGETING
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is mindlessly
fidgeting. This is a dead give away that you feel uncomfortable. Have you ever
watched a professional newscaster? They never touch their face, adjust their
ties, pull at their clothing or play with their jewelry. Because they have
been trained to get you to believe what they are saying, and if they seemed
nervous or insecure while delivering their message, you would not trust nor
believe what they were saying. If you find yourself fidgeting, relax, stay
present, fold your hands in your lap or on the top of the table in front of
you.
STEEPLE YOUR HANDS
A simple hand gesture can make you appear more confident and
secure. Many people are used to what is called the “fig leaf” gesture, in which
one hand cups the other and rests over the groin area. But this hand gesture
actually conveys insecurity and weakness. The hand steeple, in which the
fingers come together to form a point, is a great alternative. When someone
steeples in the chest area, it means they are confident about what they are
saying. When someone steeples in the lap area, it means they are confident
about what they are hearing.
MAKE EYE CONTACT
If you are having a one-on-one conversation, there is nothing
more important than direct eye contact. Follow the 80/20 rule, in which 80% of
the time your eyes are meeting your speaking partner’s, and 20% of the time,
your eyes can be roaming as you gather information to say. Good eye contact not
only allows your speaking partner to feel that you are interested in what they
are saying, they will appreciate and respect you more for doing so and
ultimately, associate you with a caring, confident individual.
FIRM YOUR HANDSHAKE
A good handshake can set the tone for your following interaction
with another individual. The best handshake starts with you holding your hand
in a vertical position, with your fingers together and your thumb extended
upright. Then, when shake your partner’s hand, it must be a close, assertive
connection in which the web of your hand meets his web. Be sure you approach
their hand as evenly as possible. When someone’s hand is facing down, it means
they want to control you. And if their hand is facing up, it conveys that they
are submissive. If you want to go the extra mile to convey confidence, try
“anchoring” the handshake. This means using your other hand to touch the person
softly on their forearm between their wrist and their elbow. Done correctly,
and this move can give an impression that you are fully committed to speaking
with the person. Just be sure to not go any higher than the elbow, as this
could make the person feel like you are invading their personal space."
Love,
Cristiana Dragomir Eltrayan
Terapeut holistic & Life Coach
Tel:
E-mail: cristiana.dragomir999@gmail.com
Youtube:CRISTIANA DRAGOMIR ELTRAYAN
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